Josie in Provence: My dad thinks this is funny

So, what have I been up to since I last posted to my blog?

In a word, bonding. You see, my mum and dad said that if I wanted my life to go back to the way it was BS (Before Sooty)—when the upstairs of the house was mine—I would have to learn to be on my very best behaviour with all the kittens all of the time. Meaning, I was never to chase the kittens, even when they hissed at me, and, most specifically, ‘You are not to eat Sooty.’ As if I would!

I thought about that for a while and then I decided I’d give it a try. Perhaps Sooty could become my friend, I hoped. Perhaps we would become inseparable?

Well, be careful what you wish for, folks. We did become inseparable—because Sooty spent her entire day chewing my tail or my legs or even my nose! She never left me alone, especially when I was trying to sleep. There I was, lying on my sofa—oh, excuse me, it’s our sofa now, apparently—dreaming of chicken suppers, or long walks with my best friend, Basta, when suddenly I would feel her needle sharp teeth. And though she was very tiny (when my mum and dad took her to the vet for her first check-up she weighed just 1.1 kilos) boy, could she bite! The only way to stop her was to put her head in my mouth and keep it there—which, if my dad caught me in the act, meant I got shouted at. How unfair is that?

Anyway, I’ve persevered with ‘bonding’ and I have to tell you that something remarkable has happened: Sooty now seems to regard me as her ‘mum’, and I feel much the same way, and I’m the one who takes care of her (I like to wash her fur with my tongue) and gets her out of trouble whenever she fights with one of the other kittens. Which, let me tell you, is often. That’s because Sooty’s favourite trick is to sneak up on Savannah or Georgia or Rabbit in the garden—when they’re minding their own business, asleep in the sun—and attack them like a terrorist. She does it so often, my mum and dad have taken to calling her Sooty bin Laden, and I’m the one who has to break up the fights. My mum says I’m ‘the playground monitor’—whatever that might mean!

But, honestly, I’m loving it. I’m getting on much better with all of the kittens, and almost never chase them, and because of my ‘good behaviour’ I now have the run of the entire house and garden, and can sleep where I want at night (usually under the bed). So, thank-you Sooty for coming into my life. Now, let go of my tail!